i told my mom a part of me is depressed.

she asked why.
i couldn't answer.

she persisted and i said,
im depressed about what could've been. but it doesn't make sense because what is and what was can never be what could've been and that what could've been can never be known from what is and what was but merely speculated. so i guess being depressed about what could've been is but a composite of what is and what was.

i told my mom good nite.

went into my room.

the phone rang. talked. hang up.

i nearly cried.

im pathetic.